The Field of Sorrow
by Idyllicdream
Summary: It came to him on the wind. Her scent. It was her scent mingled with miasma and blood, and… His feet took off the ground, somewhere behind him Jaken squawked in surprise and begging him to not to left him behind. But Sesshoumaru was already set on his path and Jaken's voice soon faded. Sesshoumaru-sama, where are you going?


It came to him on the wind. Her scent. It was her scent mingled with miasma and blood, and…

His feet took off the ground, somewhere behind him Jaken squawked in surprise and begging him to not to left him behind. But Sesshoumaru was already set on his path and Jaken's voice faded. _Sesshoumaru-sama, where are you going?_

 _This scent...why is it calling me?_

 _What is this overwhelming feeling that it carries?_

 _I see... this scent_

 _...is filled with sadness._

His feet lightly touched a field of white as he allowed the earth to once again claim him. It was quiet all around him, save for the little blossoms swaying around his feet, as if they too sensed Kagura's sadness and were guiding, imploring him to find her.

And so he did.

There she sat all alone. One glance was all it took for him to know what happened. Naraku had discovered her betrayal… No, he had always known. It is only now, it seems, that Kagura had finally outran her usefulness to him. And so he got rid of her, and left her, his own creation, to die.

Her wound was not healing, it meant that her heart had returned. If he sought it, he could hear the soft beating of her heart. It was her victory, and her final defeat. She was free, as she always wanted, as she had always dreamed, and yet her body no longer obeyed her. This field of flowers was her final rest.

Nobody was coming to see her in her final moments.

Except for him.

"Sesshou...maru?"

She raised her face from defeat, her sorrowful eyes lifted to gaze at him wide-eyed, amazed and disbelieving. Her fingers clenched at her side, crushing the fabric of her darkening robe.

Was she frightened of him? Does she think that perhaps he was here to finish her off, to put an end to her suffering? To perhaps gloat and lecture her, that she had been a foolhardy woman and he had told her so?

If so, _a long time ago_ , Sesshoumaru thought, _she would be right._

"I followed the scent of blood and miasma." He stated, observing her expression.

"Heh," she smiled, her body crunpling as if all expectation had abandoned her. He had never seen her so bittersweet. "I see. Did I disappoint you, that I am not Naraku?"

He was not used to seeing her looking so defeated… He had seen her came close to dying once before. It was clear that she didn't want to die, but she also wasn't afraid of dying. That sentiment, to him, had already marked her as different from any of the hordes of youkai Naraku used and expended with as his arsenal.

She had lived her life dangerously. Long ago, he might have wondered why an incarnation of Naraku could have acted with so little caution around him - and so much audacity - when it was clear to him that she was quick-witted and sharp. Now, he realised, that it was her dream had made her brave, that allowed her to push aside her fear and did whatever it took.

Now he knew, what made her afraid. It was not his arrival, as he had thought, not at all. It was the thought of her broken dream, lying shattered around her, shrouding her in loneliness.

 _"...I knew it was you."_

Though he searched, he did not know the words to say. The feeling of wanting to lessen someone else's pain...was foreign to him. As a daiyoukai, however, Sesshoumaru had always despised illusions and lies, inability to handle the truth was a sign of weakness of both body and mind. And he had respect for her. But it seems, the truth was enough.

"I...see…"

He put his hand on Tenseiga. The sword was awfully quiet. There a soft hum, and then Tenseiga was silent. Instead of seeing the Death Bearers from the Netherworld, Sesshoumaru saw the miasma soaking through her and spilling into the air around. And he realised...

"Are you leaving?" he asked, knowing now that this would be the last time he saw her, the last time he heard her voice. Is your soul saved? Did you find the freedom you wanted?

"Yeah…" she whispered softly. "it's enough…"

She finally looked up, allowing him to see her face one last time. And he saw that she was no longer suffering.

 _I get to see you...one last time..._

He watched her until her final moment. He watched as she became one with the wind. The scent of miasma completely disappeared. The sudden rush of wind carried up the fresh scent of flowers, as if saying farewell to him and Inuyasha's group, who had just arrived. Now every brush of wind, every touch of the breeze would remind him of her.

After she had gone, his brother had asked if she suffered. Sesshoumaru did not know the answer to that question in truth, for the miasma had to have caused her great pain, that was clear. And yet, she had smiled at him in the end. As if his presence had allowed her to pass away peacefully.

 _Are you at peace right now, Kagura?_

His fight with Naraku continues after her death. He thought that was what she would've wanted as well. One day he came upon a new scent, a new youkai disgusting similar to Naraku, only with half his cunning. Moryoumaru, the location of Naraku's heart, the youkai that Kagura had tried to warn him about some time before her death. As to be expected from the discarded heart of an abominable half-youkai, it tried desperately to replace Naraku using the same spineless tactics and despicable fighting style, stealing other youkai's techniques and powers and incorporating it into its own body without discipline, merit or mastery. Like a glutton gorging itself fat on any food it can touch, like hoarder filling his castle with worthless objects and calling it a collection. That shell had not possessed half the respect he had had for Kagura. It was there that he learned the full extent of her betrayal; she had betrayed both Moryoumaru and Naraku in order to save the human boy Kohaku. When Moryoumaru dared to bring up her name and sully it in his presence, Sesshoumaru made sure it paid dearly for that mistake, no matter the cost.

But the creature's words had engraved itself in Sesshoumaru's mind long after Moryoumaru had cowardly departed from the battle. It haunted him, it made him angry still, as the result of his encounter with Moryoumaru, with Naraku's heart slipping through his grasp, even after he had sacrificed his sword - and his own refusal to believe the creature's words warred in his mind.

 _None of you could fulfill Kagura's dying wish. Her death was in vain!_

And now that Tokijin had shattered, he was even further away from realising Kagura's wish than he had ever been.

Tenseiga seemed to have felt the turmoil within him. He was not even aware that his heart had been calling out to Tenseiga, yet it had heard him still. And in response it had summoned Toutousai.

Tenseiga, a sword he had deemed useless, the inheritance he had long despised, the unreliable weapon that he had depended upon against his will in a way he never did with Tokijin or any other sword. The sword that had brought back for him two precious lives (even though at the time it was merely curiosity and convenience that made him wield it) and yet failed to bring back one. Now it was ready to reforge itself into a weapon, it would finally aid him to avenge her death and honor her memory. He had always viewed his quest to annihilate Naraku as a quest for his own honour, his own pride after the fool had tried to trick him and threaten him. But from now on, he realised, though he would never say it, from now on, he would be fighting for her honour as well.

The wind rushed around him, carrying the fresh scent of flowers. He could still feel her, as though she never left.

He had never asked her, when she was alive, what she would do once she had gained her freedom. After Naraku, what? Was it truly revenge that she wished for?

He, too, was a lot like the wind. He never stayed in one place. He came and went as he pleased, never stopping more than it interested him. He would be there one day, and then gone the next, as if he had never existed, always leaving others to wonder. Nothing tied him down. Nothing tired him. Perhaps, that was why they had always understood each other.

The wind continued to swirl around him, carrying the tales of its travels in the fold of its wings.

 _You're still here, after all this time._

He thought to the breeze as it danced about him, free of pain and free of sorrow, only urging him forward. He thought of her smile, closed his eyes, and continued on his everlasting journey.

 _Be at peace, Kagura._


End file.
